For those who might not already be aware, I started a set of ugly ships contests.
As noted in the rules post, I’m focusing on the T1 subcap ships – the winner (person with the best comment/justification) gets an ugly ship! In this one the winner will get their choice of the four “winners” (we mean losers).
UPDATE:The comments on this one were nothing short of hilarious. Make sure to read all the comments and also the ones on the Forum thread here. But the cruiser winner is Kirith Kodachi for this gem: “The Moa looks like a cyborg zombie goose that was rebuilt with parts from an industrial microwave oven from 1985.” Kirith gets his choice of Augoror, Moa, Celestis or Bellicose!
Remember you have to comment to win – my vote and justification after each poll. NOTE:On your comment please include your in-game name or Twitter @name so I know where to contact you if you win!
My Vote – Amarr Cruisers
Six months ago, this would have been easy. But CCP has been on a roll, and it all started with the rebuild of the Maller. The new Maller is unquestionably prettier than the old Maller. It’s more menacing and angular.
But it’s still the ugliest of the lot – sorry CCP! Seriously, it needs that huge nose? And “Maller”? Really? Like you use it for shopping trips? I think you were looking for “Mauler”, right?
The Augoror came in a close second (again, you meant “Auguror”, right?).
I like the Omen and I love the Arbitrator – possibly my favorite ship model in the whole game is the Curse, an Arbitrator variant.
he bottom line, though, as you will see below, is that the Amarr lineup stands head and shoulders above the cruisers of all the rest of the races. They’re slick, shiny, aerodynamic and menacing … something most of the rest are not.
So Maller fans, don’t be disheartened … it’s just the ugliest of the beautiful.
My Vote – Caldari Cruisers
Oh. My. God. What happened here? I’m not sure I know how to pick the prettiest of these, much less the ugliest. The Caldari cruiser lineup is a horrorshow of epic proportions.
I actually had to compare the in-game models to determine what was really the worst of the lot, but in the end few things can really compare to the ugly that is the Moa. It looks like a mutant club-footed duck that got half ran-over by a truck. Good lord.
The other model in close running was the Osprey. I don’t even… what the hell is going on in the front of this ship? There were definitely no design awards here.
The Blackbird, while ugly, is unremarkable. It’s your basic toy spaceship built by a 3 year old out of Duplos. And the Caracal actually approaches marginally attractive. Where the Amarr Maller is the ugliest of the pretty, the Caracal may be the prettiest of the ugly. I’d take the Maller over the Caracal any day.
My Vote – Gallente Cruisers
This one was actually pretty easy, because the Celestis is so far and away uglier than any of its brethren.
It’s another “tumor” entry from the Gallente school of metal blob design. And really sad given that it is a signature anti-Dramiel boat and the base for the spectacular Arazu. The Arazu should look badass.
The Exequror isn’t attractive, but other than the fact that they couldn’t put three identical engines on it with equal distribution (I can tell you that the IC Gallente supply chain managers hate keeping parts in stock for this thing) it’s not too bad.
The Thorax, for all the penis jokes, is actually a fairly cool ship, and will be especially with the new paint job. The Vexor has a strange menace all its own befitting a drone platform.
My Vote – Minmatar Cruisers
I may have mentioned once or twice that I’m a Minmatar pilot. Specifically, one focused on cruisers and battlecruisers. I’d honestly like to take a torch to the lot of these models. They are great ships in play, but I don’t love any of the models.
That said, the most offensive to me is the Bellicose. I fly Rapiers, so I spend a lot of time looking at this model. The giant vertical side arms on this thing are, to be blunt, a horrible eyesore. Turn them 90 degrees, chop them off, add horizontal panels in their place, for god’s sake do something. The main body is fine as is, but those giant H-beams simply wreck a perfectly good ship.
The Scythe is better, but not by much. And maybe I’d like it even less if I had Logi V trained and was regularly in a Scimitar. But it suffers from the same bolted-together feel as the Bellicose.
The Stabber could have been a beautiful ship, but somehow despite its sleek projectile look in the front it has this cobbled and awkward back. And the Rupture has always looked like a Paslode nailgun to me, with a pirate galleon back end. It’s just a weird model.
Overall Ugliest Cruiser
Hands down, the Caldari Moa. My god is that an ugly ship. I often remark on the ugliness of Minmatar girder-based duct tape design, but even the Bellicose doesn’t hold a candle to the Moa.
CCP, please throw this model out and start over!