Ugliest Ships in Eve Contest #2: Frigates

UPDATE 11/3: Top Ugly Frigates: Imicus (58% of Gallente), Tormentor (56% of Amarr), Griffin (40% of Caldari) and Burst (44% of Minmatar). There were some awesome comments too.

  • Winning Quote: Cherry Nobyl: “The ugliest frigate in eve at this time has to be, without a doubt, the: atron. I call mine thalidomide.” Dear lord, I nearly shot my drink out my nose. Cherry wins the frigate of her choice from those listed above!
  • Runners Up:
    • Myrhial Arkenath: “I’d pick the griffin. Mine is called Ugly Duckling for a reason.”
    • PoeticStanziel: “What is your deal with the Imicus? That’s a kickstand, dude!”
    • @rickypedia: “Bantam hands down. So bad I fly an Ibis”
    • Skorpion352: “Navitas. Seriously, get rid of the fins, its not a fish.”
    • Terakai Darou: “I have to say the Bantam, have you ever seen a crying ship? That’s just what this lovely horse-camel-worm ship looks like.”

For those who might not already be aware, I started a set of ugly ships contests. You can read the rules and vote for the ugliest Destroyer on the original post.

As noted in the original, I’m focusing on the T1 ships – the winner (person with the best comment/justification) gets an ugly ship! In the frigate category, there are so many ships – and so many ugly ships – that I’ve broken the vote down into four separate polls, one per race. You can vote once per race, and the winner will get the ugly vote winner in the race of their choice.

Remember you have to comment to win – my vote and justification after each poll. NOTE: On your comment please include your in-game name or Twitter @name so I know where to contact you if you win!


My Vote – Amarr

Tormentor – Why so serious?

My vote for ugliest Amarr frigate goes to the Tormentor.

There were really only two possible choices for me here, the other being the Inquisitor. It’s a pretty close race. Both are sort of a goofy arc-shaped design. In the end, however, the Inquisitor is longer and has a “swept back” longer top, where the Tormentor is short and stumpy and has a goofy “smile” from the front view like some goofy imbecile. The equally stupid “smile” on the back makes it the winner (loser?). The Tormentor does have cooler engines however.

The Crucifier comes in a distant third. It is a bit odd – almost like an Amarr/Minmatar hybrid design with its “spare parts” look – but it’s odd in a cool way.

I’ve always thought that the Executioner, Magnate and Punisher were good-looking ships.


My Vote – Caldari

Griffin – Let’s see … what do we have around the hangar we can use to build a ship?

Like the Amarr, this comes down to two choices for me: in this case, the Bantam or the Griffin. The Bantam is like the sad, first-draft version of the Merlin that wants to be cool when it grows up. But despite the fun I’ve had in the ship and its proven effectiveness in battle, my vote goes to the Griffin for its cobbled-together  spare parts look that would make Minmatar engineers proud.

The Heron is an unusual design, but not ugly or n need of a redo. The Condor, while a bit lopsided, isn’t too bad – and is helped by some cool video appearances in things like Future Proof (OK, it’s a Crow, but we’re talking hulls here). The Kestrel is a bit unusual but has a cool sinister sort of vibe to it, and the Merlin is an attractive ship (which is probably why CCP likes to feature it in videos).


My Vote – Gallente

Imicus – Three words: What. The. Hell?

Ah, the poor Gallente. When it comes to frigates, they got more than their fair share of ugly. The hands-down winner, the ugly among the ugly, has got to be the Imicus. It’s lopsided. It’s asymmetric, and not in a cool way. I bet it would fly in an aimless, uncontrolled circle if you actually built it. CCP: This is not edgy, it’s pure ass-ugly. Straighten it out, put another “stabilizer wing” on the other side and it might be serviceable. Or you can just make all the stations that construct the thing destructable and I will personally make it my mission to blow them all up.

While the Imicus is the king of the ugly Gallente frigate lineup, there are others that are little better. The Maulus looks like some sort of futuristic elephant head armor; henceforth I shall call it “The Dumbo”. The Navitas isn’t pretty either, but it does have an oddly Jovian vibe to it, which appeals to my lore-monger side.

The Atron would look awesome if it was symmetrical copying the port side – that wing is cool, and the other side is a hunchback clubfoot. Why (Psst, CCP – easy fix! Just copy the left wing!)?

The Tristan is an unusual design, but it works and has a distinctive look. Only the Incursus is what I can honestly call a “cool looking” Gallente frigate, and even it has a serious issue – yes, the giant spear. Seriously, what is that? Apparently this should have been the ship called the Stabber. Or maybe the Jouster.


My Vote – Minmatar

Vigil Smile

Vigil – Smiley Stick Man!

So… I already got in a Twitter argument about this one, and since I made the argument I’m sticking to it here.

Fine, I’ll admit it. The Burst is actually the ugliest scrapheap of a ship, maybe the most laughably rusty piece of crap in the game.

But remember my original premise – this is about a redesign. And the Vigil desperately needs a redesign. The Vigil is an awesome ship that I loved flying before I could get into an Interceptor.

But ever since my brief flirtation with ninja salvaging, I’ve just thought of it as the Smiley Stick Man. Another easy fix here, CCP! Take the “legs” off, level them horizontal, do something with the “pot belly” (like get rid of it), and you end up with something approximating the look of the Amarr Executioner, but with a Minmatar flare. Please?

The Breacher is not far behind the Vigil and Burst for remarkably poor looks and design. What is that, a radio tower with an observation deck strapped to a rocket?

As regular readers of this blog know, I have a soft spot for the Probe, Rifter and Slasher (and their variants), and while none of the three are perfect, I can at least stand to look at them when I fly them.


Overall Ugliest Frigate

I have to go with the Imicus. Seriously, what the hell?

What do you think? Ugly ship pilots, sound off!

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21 Responses to Ugliest Ships in Eve Contest #2: Frigates

  1. Rhavas says:

    OK, maybe the Burst is really the ugliest. So many choices.

  2. Serpentine Logic says:

    Burst.

  3. Tormentor, griffin, incursus, burst. If I could pick one, I’d pick the griffin. Mine is called Ugly Duckling for a reason.

  4. Rhavas says:

    @rickypedia via Twitter: Bantam hands down. So bad I fly an Ibis.

  5. Jaggins says:

    You may be distorting the results by not posting all the pictures, as the ugly you see can overwhelm the lurking ugly.

    • Rhavas says:

      Probably true, I’m being lazy. Will show them all in future posts (for more expensive ships). I recommend chruker.de for icon capture and views – that’s where I grab the ones I’m using. I have the page for the class and race up while I am doing these posts. But I find that even with that I have to make tiebreakers by pulling up the models in game.

  6. What is your deal with the Imicus? That’s a kickstand, dude! 🙂

  7. paritybit says:

    I had a hard time picking the Gallente frigate most in need of a redesign — I like them all. I do agree that in the end, the Imicus is the ugliest of the bunch. I also made the same pick as you for Amarr.

    But really, how can you dislike the Griffin and Vigil? I love both of those hulls. You’ve got a serious bias against vertical and asymmetrical hulls. The Breacher is by far the ugliest frigate hull in the game. The Bantam is the ugliest frigate hull in the Caldari line, I only excuse it because it makes a handy smuggling frigate.

    • Rhavas says:

      I fully admit to a symmetry bias. But I have nothing against vertical. I love my Myrmidon and think it’s spectacular. I can’t wait to fly the Tornado.

      And yeah, I admit (as noted above) that the Burst is actually uglier than the Vigil, but I think a ship as kickass as the Vigil is deserves to look badass too … and it doesn’t.

  8. Mehrdad Kor-Azor says:

    The Crucfier is hands-down the ugliest ship.

    Why?
    It doesn’t fit in the Amarr design spectrum at all.

    It has that strange thing on the top of the tower, has very little smooth plating, and all kinds of weird doodads sticking out randomly.

    The Imicus is also butt-ugly, but fits in with the lumpiness of the rest of the Gallente lineup.

  9. Corina Jarr says:

    Sorry, the Crucifier is too ugly for words simply because it doesn’t fit with Amarr design philosophy.

    I will agree with the Imicus. However it seems to not be so odd man out as the Crucifier.

  10. Rasputin Demonde says:

    Corina Jarr says:
    October 29, 2011 at 10:37 PM
    Sorry, the Crucifier is too ugly for words simply because it doesn’t fit with Amarr design philosophy.

    I will agree with the Imicus. However it seems to not be so odd man out as the Crucifier.
    Crucifier Is the ugliest frigate in the Amarr lineup .

  11. Pingback: Ugliest Ships in Eve #3: Noobships and Shuttles | Interstellar Privateer

  12. skorpion352 says:

    amarr: tormentor. seriouslg. that grin is fucking creepy
    caldari: agree, wtf were they thinking with that griffin design. i almsot went with the condor, but thats already getting a redesign
    gallente: navitas. those fins are stupid, get rid of them
    minmatar: also agree on vigil. it looks like its trying to be vertical, but imo isnt doing a very good job at it.

    overall: navitas. seriously, get rid of the fins, its not a fish. also its time a gallente ship got redesigned, minmatar need ot get some more duck tape before they can redesign anything!

  13. evehermit says:

    There are a lot of ugly Frigates. When I first started out I assumed the idea was the cheaper the ship, the uglier it was. For the Amarr I could have picked the Tormentor, Inquisitor or Crucifier, which are all as ugly as sin. The Inquisitor got the nod today, but I could have as easily picked either of the other two. Oddly the Caldari set are mostly ok. The Griffin is odd and fragile looking, and the Bantam rather awkward. But I have slightly fond memories of mining in the later so that I could afford my first destroyer, so the Griffin was selected. I am not a fan of most of the Gallente Frigate Hulls. The incursus and its ramming implement just look out of place in space, but I picked the Imicus. I just don’t understand that one. Finally the Minmatar – with the strange but plausible sailed Vigil beaten out by the frankly implausible looking Burst. It is probably the ugliest of the lot.

  14. terakai darou says:

    I have to say the Bantam, have you ever seen a crying ship? That’s just what this lovely horse-camel-worm ship looks like. Imagine meeting that thing in a dark alley. You’ll never be the same.

  15. Rhavas says:

    From the forum thread:
    Cherry Nobyl: “The ugliest frigate in eve at this time has to be, without a doubt, the: atron. I call mine thalidomide.”

  16. sherkhanzz says:

    i disagree with vigil vote, it is vertical, don’t mess with it

  17. Pingback: Ugliest Ships in Eve #4: Cruisers | Interstellar Privateer

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